Husbands Love Your Wives Ephesians 52533 John MacArthur
Well last week we started talking a little bit about the family and I began by talking more directly to the single people and I have a few more words for you again tonight. I hope there have been some engagements during the week since Iâ€¦I don’t know, but it would be nice if there had been some. Part of the problem in the world in which we live is you have too many choices. It was a lot better when you lived in a village and there were eight girls to choose from, and that was the way it was. You know, the illusion in our culture for those people who are single is that somewhere there’s this perfect person hanging out there and you just have to find that person.
Nothing could be further from the truth. All you really want is a godly partner, all you want is somebody who loves the Lord Jesus Christ. And I’ll give you a little bit of a warning. You can find your ideal mate, you can find the one that looks and talks and acts and behaves the way you think the perfectâ€¦the perfect spouse or perspective spouse should. They may look like you would want them to look, and they may be interested in the things you would want them to be interested in. They may have a wonderful sense of humor and be intellectually interesting and all of those kinds of things. And you can marry that person and that person may feel the same way about you. And if you don’t walk in the Spirit,.
That marriage will have massive problems. Or you can find someone who loves Christ and has a heart to serve the Lord, and walk in the Holy Spirit, and if you’re in that same path and that person is in that same path, you will grow into the kind of union that will fill your life with complete joy and blessing. So stop looking for the perfect person somewhere. Stop scanning all of the unknown and available web sites. Stick with the people that the Lord has brought into your life and the people that you know and the people that are around you and the people that love the Lord and believe the things that you believe and find someone who walks.
In the Spirit and longs to serve the Lord Jesus Christ and watch the Lord make a wonderful and complete and lasting relationship that will be profoundly, profoundly blessed. Marriage doesn’t have to be conflict. There will be conflict in marriage because there’s conflict in life. But I do not agree with the great General Montgomery who said, â€œGentlemen, don’t even think of marriage until you’ve mastered the art of war.â€� I wouldn’t agree with that. I think that’sâ€¦I think that’s extending this thing beyond a reasonable level. But I do understand that marriage does pose conflict because when you slam two centers together permanently, they’re going to rub each other the wrong way because that’s.
What sin does. But the answer to all of that, of course, is to be obedient to Christ, to love Christ, to love each other and to walk in the power of the Spirit and watch the Lord overcome those things and fill your life with profound joy and blessing beyond anything that could be experienced in singleness unless that is what God has particularly designed you for. If you go back to the book of Genesis, for just a moment, in your thinking, and maybe it would be good to do that for a minute. If you go back in to Genesis chapter 1 and we sort of start where you have to start with this kind of discussion about marriage, we.
Are reminded in Genesis chapter 1 verses 27 and 28, â€œThat God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them. God blessed them and God said to them, â€˜Be fruitful and multiply.’â€� That’s the basic principle. Men and women come together and have children. They multiply, they fill the earth, they subdue the earth and they rule over the earth. This is expanded in chapter 2 down in verse 18, â€œThe Lord after making man says it’s not good for the man to be alone. I’ll make him a helper suitable for him. Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, every bird of the sky, brought.
Them to the man to see what he could call them and whatever the man called the living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, the birds of the sky, and every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he slept, then He, being God, took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man. The man said, â€˜This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his.
How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship and Resolve Conflict in Marriage
Picture this: You’re fighting with your partner and the tension is rising between you, then all of a sudden you notice a spark of anger in their eyes and KABOOM!!! A massive fight erupts. Now you’ve been here before and you know how these kind of fights end. Usually in icy cold silences with one of you sleeping on the couch and leaving a crater of hurt that could take weeks to recover from. Hi, I’m Bruce Muzik. I’m a relationship coach and I help couples to stop fighting, start connecting and turn their marriages and relationships around. In this tutorial we are going to learn.
Four counter intuitive strategies to stop any fight from exploding into a volcanic like eruption and actually resolve the conflict in any place. anytime. A big promise?. I know, and I’ve road tested all four of these strategies in my relationship coaching practice so I know that they work. Here is strategy number 1: Imagine you are in a boxing ring. and your opponent is throwing punches at you left, right and center What do you do? Well, you block and you duck and you defend yourself and whenever you get an opportunity you throw a couple of punches back, and they block and defend themselves and you go backwards and forth creating punches. When you’re defending. you.
Are inviting them to attack and throw punches. When you are attacking, you are inviting them to defend. And what most people don’t see is that defense and attack are two sides of the same coin and as long as you’re defending yourselves you’re inviting an attack and as long as you are attacking you’re inviting your opponent to defend themselves. The only way to stop a fight is to actually step out of the ring. completely. Try this instead: Instead of fighting be defenseless. You are actually inviting conflict in by defending yourself, so here is an easy way to be defenseless. Find something you can agree with your partner about. Find something in what they’ve said that you can.
Agree with. You might hypothetically say something like quot;Yes honey, you’re right. I did leave the car headlights on and the battery is flatquot;. With no yelling at you about leaving the lights on in the car. This is going to completely catch them off guard and interrupt that pattern of attack, defend, attack, defend, attack, defend. It will also sooth your partner and calm them down knowing that you’re not defending. That you are actually agreeing with them. But Bruce! I hear you cry. What if I can’t find something to agree with? Well. then you’re going to try strategy number two. Strategy number two is to demonstrate that you are listening. You see, we human beings have an almost primal need to feel heard and understood; and half the time your partner.
Is upset their just wanting you to listen to them, they just want you to hear them so they can feel that you understand them and you care about what they are saying. So try this strategy to make you partner feel heard and understood. When they are talking with you in an upset tone of voice, instead of defending yourself; repeat back to them what they actually said. So you might say something like, quot;So what I am hearing you say honey is that I left the lights on and the car battery is flat and now you’re gonna be late for work, did I get it?quot; Notice at the end I put the phrase quot;DID I GET IT?quot; I did this because I want to confirm that I’ve actually understood what my partner says, it shows them how much.
I really want to understand what they are saying, and it’s also a sign of respect and calms down that reptilian part of their brain that might be about to get triggered. When they hear you say quot;Did I get it? They know that they are going to have an opportunity to speak and you’re just going to listen, you are not going to be defending. It’s a great way to deescalate conflict. Try it! It works like magic. I’ll teach you an even more advance version of this tool in my Love At First Fight coaching program, which I will tell you more about at the end of this tutorial. Now, strategy number three is to take ownership of the situation and apologize for your part in it. But you did left the headlights on didn’t you? Yeah.
You did, right? And you did make your partner late for work? Yeah, you have right? So you might say something like quot;You’re right honey, I did leave the car headlights on and I have made you late for work and I’m really sorryquot;. You see how that works? You can’t argue with that, right? That’s the power of a simple heart felt apology and taking responsibility for your part in what you’ve created. Okay, here is our fourth and final strategy to stop any fight dead in its tracks. And it’s this: It’s called stand together and attack the misunderstanding. You see, what most couples do is they stand.