(â™ªâ™ªâ™ª) Hi everybody! So today we’re going to be talking about relationships. Now as you might have noticed or maybe you don’t know she is Deaf. Nothing nothing and I am hearing. Holla! So obviously it’s different being Deaf, being hearing. So our relationship might be a little bit different than most people think.
So today we are going to talk about what are some tips for having a successful Deaf/hearing relationship. Ok tip 1 is you have to accept the other person’s culture. She has a hearing and I have am Deaf. So you have to respect each other’s upbrining, a different environment, different background. You have to respect and understand that maybe they think or behave differently
and you have to accept that. Right like there are some things that Deaf people do that you might not be used to. Like I know in some hearing families or in general, people don’t like being touched. often and something that I’ve noticed with Deaf people is they’re very huggy and very touchy. There is not a lot of personal space with Deaf people because it’s visual and it’s moving. So that’s something you have to learn to accept and there might be other things between you two and again it’s really gonna depend like… how I don’t want to say how Deaf you are.
You know, like if your partner or yourself being Deaf you grew up in a very strong Deaf household. It might be al little bit more different than if you grew up in a hearing household. In general you have to accept each other. Tip 2 now this might sound a little bit uh rude… I don’t know but I’m just gonna be honest with you. Umm as a Deaf person who is marrying a hearing person, do not assume
that they’re going to become your automatic interpreter. So when you go out and you’re doing… don’t just assume they’re gonna interpret everything for you and it’s gonna be perfect and it’s like having a personal 24 hour interpreter. That would be nice but it ain’t… no no no no. As a hearing person you have to understand that you might have to interpret for your partner, your husband, your wife, whatever out in situations that you kinda really don’t want to. I interpret as a job. So when I come home sometimes
I am done, but if we go out and let’s say we go to… I don’t know a tour, or we do something that there is no interpreter there. I might have to end up interpreting for her even if I don’t want to, but I love her and I accept that. I think one really important thing is to kinda agree on that. Like we kinda agreed if I feel I don’t want to interpret something I don’t have to. So it’s really up to me. I think that’s really important you set up that boundary.
Alright. There are a number of different typesof reasons why relationships start to deteriorate. And, the first one I want to talk about isExcessive Intimacy Claims. Now, that’s a pretty fancy terminology for basically saying this.Empathy. Sympathy. That’s where it starts. One person wants another person in the relationshipto be exactly as empathetic or sympathetic to their needs and wants and desires as theywant them to be. And, that’s not always the case. I may be able to be empathetic, whichmeans I feel your pain. I walk in your shoes. I may be able to do that in certain situations.But, when you start wanting me to do it all the time I may not be able to do it. It alsobecomes about, I call it getting on the bandwagon
with. And, what that means is I’m in a relationshipwith Joe and I hate Sally his boss. I want him to hate her. But, he’s not going to. And,that creates a problem for me. Because, I want him to want what I want. I want him tosympathize with me. What happens when this starts to take place is it starts to restrictpersonal freedom. All of a sudden I can’t really like who I want to like anymore. Ican’t really be friends with or feel the way I feel anymore. And, so I start running therisk of losing my identity. This is what happens when we talk about relationships becomingpossessive..