The person you really need to marry Tracy McMillan TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen
When I was growing up, there was this song we used to sing on the playground, and it went like this, quot;Tracy and so and so, sitting in a tree, kissing, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.quot; And I’m like, quot;OK, that’s it! That’s how you do life. That’s how you do a relationship. Love, marriage, baby carriage. OK, got it!.
(Laughter) Then I grew up, and this is what my life turned out to be. (Laughter) Slightly more complicated, right? (Laughter) Love, marriage, divorce, dry spells, love, marriage, coparenting, another marriage, another divorce; you got the picture. (Laughter).
(Applause) So if you’re good at math andor a fast reader, what you’ve got there is that I’ve been married three times. Yep, three, and divorced. What that is supposed to mean is that I’m a total failure at relationships. And that is one way to look at it, but not the only way. Because what I think really happened is that I kept marrying the wrong person. No, it’s not that I didn’t it’s not that I chose bad guys.
My first two husbands were amazing men who are now married to wonderful women who aren’t me. (Laughter) And my third husband, well, we’re friends on Facebook now. So, all is well that ends well, right? After the collapse of my third marriage in 2005, I realized that I’ve been marrying everyone in sight, except the one person that I really needed to marry.
In order to have a great relationship and that once I married that person, all of my relationships would be successes, even the failures. The socalled failures, actually. Since we’re talking today about women inventing, I’m going to talk about inventing relationships. What I’ve found through a lot of trial and obviously, many, many, many errors, to be the thing that has transformed my life and love,.
And that is this idea of marrying yourself. So what does it mean to marry yourself? It’s a big idea. It is as big as marriage itself except, if I could just summarize it, it would be that you enter into a relationship with yourself and then you put a ring on it. (Laughter) In other words, you commit to yourself fully.
And then you build a relationship with yourself to the point where you realize that you’re whole right now, that there is no man, woman, job, circumstance that can happen to you that is going to make you more whole because you already are. And this changes your life. By now, I’m sure at least some of you are wondering why you should be listening to a threetime divorcee talk about marriage?.
The Truth About Single Moms
Hi, everybody! My name is Stefan Molyneux. I’m the host of Freedomain Radio, the largest and most popular philosophy show in the world. This is The Truth About Single Moms. Yes, it’s time to get comfortable. Grab your ovaries, pull up a cushion because this is going to be lengthy but I promise you, it’s going to be fascinating, mindblowing and lifechanging for you. Full disclosure, I was raised by a single mother. My parents divorced when I was an infant and my father moved to Africa. I grew up in England and Canada and I have now been very happily married for 13 years. I’d been a stayathome dad because nothing succeeds.
Like potential overcompensation so I sort of viewed it from both sides of the lenses. This is going to be heavily datadriven but first we need to talk about the underlying conflict in society and within really the human condition, I would argue. You know how we always want to rest but rest is bad for us. We always want more calories than we need but excess weight is bad for us. These are fundamental aspects of being carbonbased biological entity and one of the most fundamental conflicts in society which really shows up in this single mom situation, this explosion of single motherhood in the West over the past 40 or 50 years is the relationship between risk and security.
So think of insurance. So if you have a house and you buy insurance against being robbed. Well, if you never get robbed then you’re out a lot of money for no purpose but the point is you don’t know ahead of time whether you’re going to be robbed or not. If you don’t take out insurance and you do get robbed, you’re out even more money. Now the reason that people take out insurance against being robbed is because people get robbed and if they get robbed, they don’t get paid. That’s sort of the fundamental driver of these things. And there’s no right answer, it’s just constant benefits. There’s no right answer to this. Some people Ambrose Peters made this point that some people will choose to buy insurance.
And clearly they are paying more than their generalized risk; otherwise the insurance company couldn’t make any money. But they’re paying less than their specific risk like if they get robbed. Some people say, quot;Forget it, it’s a sucker’s game. The odds of getting robbed are very low and so I’m not going to buy insurancequot; and a lot of those people do fine and a lot of those people don’t. It’s sort of like when you were a kid, you’ve got a test coming up and you want to really go and ride your bike rather than study for your test. Well, you can go ride your bike and maybe you’ll be fine on the test. Maybe it will be easier than you think, maybe the.
Teacher will get sick, or maybe something will happen and you don’t have to take the test on that day. So you’re doing that kind of risk and reward where if you don’t ride your bike, you study for the test, you’ll probably do better on the test. So what’s the right answer? Well, it’s hard to say. But I think most people who study for their test would not want some of their marks taken away from them and given to the kids who didn’t study for their test. In the same way, like in the United States, a lot of laws went into place in health insurance which would say that you could not refuse someone health insurance if they had a preexisting.
Condition. In other words, you couldn’t refuse health insurance to somebody who was already sick. So of course a lot of people just said, if they can’t say no to me if I’m already sick, I’ll wait till I get sick and then I’ll apply for health insurance which is not at all how it’s supposed to work in the free market. That’s like phoning up quickly and saying to the insurance company, quot;Hey man, I really need some theft insurance because I’m currently being robbed.quot; They’d say, quot;A little late for that.quot; You have to kind of do it when you don’t know. So because people were not allowed to discriminate against people with preexisting conditions,.
Like you couldn’t refuse insurance to somebody who was already sick, what people did was they said, quot;Okay. I’ll wait till I get sick, I’ll apply for insurance.quot; That drives the price of insurance up enormously and then people have to be forced to buy insurance because the incentive is to wait until you’re sick to buy insurance and then you end up with Obama Care. This is just how the snowballs generally work. When you start messing with the risks and rewards of human society, it’s a big challenge, a big problem, things unravel enormously quickly. So why is there single motherhood these days? Well, I mean there’s probably lots of reasons.