Alright the next thing I want to talk aboutis causes relationship deterioration is undefined expectations and this is a really, reallybig one. What are expectations? Well, expectations what I think it should be. Maybe I’ve neverstated this but this is I want to happen. Undefined means I’ve never stated it. Definedexpectations are when I say to you, quot;hey, I want you to be here on time to pick me upquot;.quot;Hey, I think you should take the trash outquot;, whatever it is, and those are great becauseit’s clear. We agreed that that will work for our relationship. It’s when we start havingthese undefined expectations that we start to run into trouble about, maybe money, orwho’s in control or it could be even something
as simple as quot;whose going to take the trashoutquot;. I have literally seen that be a major communication issue something as simple astaking the trash out. Because what can happen with these undefined expectations is conflict.Here we have conflict. And it becomes unresolved conflict, and it usually is over very, verytrivial things, like, quot;I wanted you to ask me where I wanted to go to dinnerquot;. quot;I wantedyou to open the door for mequot;. â€œI wanted you to be here on timequot;. quot;I wanted youquot;, onand on it goes. But, I never express that to you. I never told you I wanted that sohow can I expect you to do it, right? Conflict!.