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Marriage Advice After Baby

Key Peele Office Homophobe

Rhythmic bass beat, sensual moans LATRELL WHAT'S UP, BABY GIRL CAN YOU PLEASE TURN THAT OFF WHY, YOU DON'T LIKE MY MUSIC IS IT MUSIC BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF SEX NOISES OVER A BASS LINE. OH. I GET IT. YOU DON'T LIKE MY MUSIC 'CAUSE I'M GAY. YOU CAN'T HANDLE A GAY MAN'S MUSIC. NO, NO, NO. IT'SI'M TRYING TO WORK HERE, AND THAT MUSIC IS WEIRDLY SEXUAL. OH, I SEE. SO MY SEXUALITY IS WEIRD. YOU JUST CAN'T FATHOM A MAN BEING ATTRACTED.

TO ANOTHER MAN. I CAN FATHOM IT. IT'S CAN YOU JUST PLEASE LISTEN TO SOME OTHER GAY MUSIC, LIKE BARBRA STREISAND OR SOMETHING OH, I SEE, I SEE. OKAY. SO LISTENING TO BARBRA STREISAND IS GAY. STEREOTYPE MUCH keys clacking SO YOU SEEING ANYBODY LATELY YEAH, II MEAN, KIND OF. I THINK 'CAUSE I GOT IT GOOD LAST NIGHT. OH, IT WAS LIKE, DAMN! I MEAN, MY MAN WAS LIKE, BLOP! LIKE, HE HAD A BABY ARM HOLDING ON TO A APPLE. AW, DON'T CALL IT A BABY ARM.

AW. I SEE. SO YOU CAN'T HANDLE HEARING ABOUT HOW I'M GAY. I'M SORRY. YOU JUST REFERRED TO YOUR BOYFRIEND'S PENIS AS A BABY'S ARM HOLDING AN APPLE. WELL, THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE. AND IT'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND, BY THE WAY. AND ANYWHATS, YOU'RE HOMOPHOBIC. NO, NO, NO. THAT'S NOT HOMOPHOBIC, OKAY YOU'RE EXPLICITLY TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL THINGS IN THE WORKPLACE. FINE. THERE'S PLENTY OF STUFF THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT. YOU KNOW, UH, MY PENIS CUP, MY SCROTUM COZIES THAT I HAVE BEEN KNITTING RECENTLY.

OH, WITH THESE KNITTING NEEDLES THAT I HAVE JUST NOTICED LOOK LIKE LITTLE, SKINNY, PURPLE PENISES, ET CETERA AND ET CETERA. OH, MY GOD. CAN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE, AND THEN YOU TELL ME IF IT'S GOOD FOR FACEBOOK OKAY, I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW ME SOMETHING OVERTLY SEXUAL. DON'T YOU PREJUDGE ME! HERE IT IS. AGH! bleep! THAT'S A CLOSEUP OF AN ANUS. OH, NO, THAT'S NOTltigt ANltigt ANUS. THAT'S MY ANUS, BABY GIRL. THAT'S DISGUSTING. OH, I SEE.

SO YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE A CLOSEUP PICTURE OF MY ANUS 'CAUSE YOU HATE GUY MEN. NO. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT A CLOSEUP PICTURE OF ANYONE'S ANUS. HOMOPHOBE. HOMOPHOBE. THERE'S A HOMOPHOBE RIGHT HERE. HO blows whistle HOMOPHOBE ALERT! highpitched voice HOMOPHOBE! imitating siren wailing HEY. HEY, BABY. HOW'S IT GOING GOOD. READY TO GO TO LUNCH YEAH. UH, LATRELL, THIS IS GAVIN. GAVIN, THIS IS LATRELL. THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND. HOW YOU DOING I'MI'M I'M DOING VERY WELL. HOWHOW ARE YOU DOING, GAVINGAVIN.

Weird Things Couples Do To Get Pregnant

Intensely sighs What are you watching That tire commercial. Oh the one with the cute baby Why, you want a baby now or something Are you serious I'm serious. I'm being serious. Man Yeah so am I. Okay so according to my calculations, if we have a baby, we won't be able to eat or go on vacation ever again. Okay. We're also going to have to cancel cable. What! No I'm out. Hey, hot stuff, wanna make a baby cheers with excitement.

Why do you have leave your pee glasses everywhere It's for my ovulation test. Yeah, but these are our drinking glasses. I clean them out. Ugh. Nope. Hey, sweetie. It's time, I'm ovulating. Alright, I'll just make it quick. It's overtime. Alright. They have like lobster stuff, It was pretty cool. They have samples of lobster Well it was like an imitation lobster. Was it good Eh, it was Costco lobster. What are you doing I'm keeping 'em from falling out.

Nope. Okay. I'm taking off. Alright babe, love you. Love you too. Don't jerk off. I'm not going to jerk off. It lowers your sperm count, don't jerk off. I know. Bye. Bye. Tell me to not to jerk off. door opens Forgot my phone. Are you kidding me I've been gone like 25 seconds. Come on. It's the dessert round. It's got to be now. Ugh. Really helping to set the mood here dude. phone chimes You're playing Candy Crush.

Weird Things Pregnant Couples Do

Playful music Come on, come on, show us some movement. Come on, give us like a hand or a foot, something. Give us something we can send to grandma. laughing Who hoo hoo! There you are. You ready to go Yeah. I have to pee. Then you're not ready to go. Double cheeseburger, a large fry and a chocolate milkshake. father A double cheeseburger, a large fry and a chocolate shake. And can I also get a couple of apple frit And a couple of apple fritters.

And you know what, give me a sundae too. And a sundae too. chomping Nice! I got sushi. You can't have sushi. But you can. father I already ate. Eat it! Slower. Yeah, that's right. Can I get like one with the larger size. Okay, scratch the 12, make it a 24. And can I also get Do they make like gravy that they can put on the fries. Do they have any gravy father Alright, this is weird, do you guys make gravy.

Oh censor beep mom Ooo don't curse in front of the baby. Babies can't hear what I'm saying right now. Um, yeah they can. censor beeps Stop! censor beep Are you kidding me right now I have to pee. Now try this one. I don't like this kind. Just try it! Voiceover As the baby head crowns, the vagina will experience what some refer to as the ring of fire. sighs Why did you make me watch this I don't know. I gotta pee.

Wait, oh, oh, are they still serving breakfast Are you still serving breakfast because I would really like some pancakes. Because she would really like some pancakes. horn Sorry, I'm sorry. Just hold on! Gees! Tell me how much you love it. sobbing I love it so much. coughing Okay, I'm good. Thanks for that. I have to pee. classical music through headphones rap music through headphones Hey! little farts with each step father laughing Stop, I can't help it. father Come on, it's funny.

Can you believe it What In just a little bit there's gonna be a real living baby here, like a real, screaming, crying, pooping baby. I know. And I can't wait to meet her. Are you ready laughing No, are you I don't think anybody ever really is. What do you think I think. I have to pee. I love you babe. mom I love you too. You do What's your favorite album Joshua Tree, Rattlin' Hum, I really like Boy.

Key Peele Gay Marriage Legalized

THE MOOD IS INFECTIOUS AND EXCITING TODAY AS PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE CELEBRATE BECOMING THE SEVENTH STATE TO LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE. WE'RE HERE TALKING TO EXCITED COUPLES ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL ON THIS HISTORIC DAY. OH, HI. HI, HI. UH, YEAH, IT'S A VERY HISTORIC DAY FOR CIVIL RIGHTS. WHOO! AND FOR GAY AMERICANS. AND AMERICANS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY WHOO! WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED! YEAH! WELL, YOU KNOW, WAIT screams WE SAID THAT IT WOULD BE A CONVERSATION, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW.

THIS WAS GONNA PASS SO DARN FAST. OH, MY GOD! SO ARE YOU GUYS A COUPLE laughs ARE WE A COUPLE COME ON, GIRL, LET'S GET SERIOUS. NO, IT'S JUST SO FAST. MY NAME IS LASHAWN. AND THIS IS RIGHT HERE IS MY SAMWICH. IT'S, UH, SAMUEL, YEAH. laughs AND WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED! YEAH! THAT'S SO GREAT. HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN TOGETHER WELL, WE'VE BEEN THREE YEARS. IT'S BEEN FOREVER, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER! IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE PERSON.

WHO IS THE BRIDE I AM THE BRIDE. DODODODODODODO! laughs OH, WELL TELL US ALL ABOUT YOUR PLANS. YOU KNOW, WE NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER SO THERE'S NOT ANY PLANS OH, YEAH! PIECE OF PAPER! WE'RE GONNA GET THAT PIECE OF PAPER, SAMMY! YEAH, YEAH. THAT PIECE OF PAPER! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS WILL GET MARRIED WELL YOU KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF HIDDEN COSTS IN A WEDDING OH, EVERYWHERE! WE'RE GONNA GET MARRIED OVER HERE.

AND OVER THERE AND IN THE SKY AND ON A CLOUD. OH, WOW, IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE A BIG WEDDING. WELL, YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A CONVERSATION THAT WE HAVE GIRL, WE'RE GONNA RENT THE MOON AND FILL IT WITH ROSES! screams WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WE THINK IT'S FAIR TO EVEN GET MARRIED WHEN IT'S STILL ILLEGAL IN SO MANY OTHER STATES OH, MY GOD! YOU SEE LOOK AT HIM! THAT'S MY MAN WITH HIS BIG HEART. I'M SORRY, MY HUSBAND. YOU MY HUSBAND NOW.

WELL, WE JUST YOU MY HUSBAND NOW, BITCH. OKAY, WE JUST DON'T WANNA RUSH INTO ANYTHING, BECAUSE STUFF GETS OVERTURNED. REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED IN CALIFORNIA. BABY I'M GONNA GET A 14KARAT RING THE SIZE OF 14 MOTHERbleep CARROTS. THAT'S WHAT'S UP, DOC! smacking lips WELL, YOU TWO CERTAINLY SEEM EXCITED. YEAH, DO WE SEEM EXCITED OH, YEAH, YEAH. OH, OKAY. CONGRATULATIONS. I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE TOGETHER. WE JUSTWE REALLY JUST DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA PASS. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A HOUSE THAT'S SHAPED LIKE A UNICORN.

Married Vs. Single When Should You Have Kids

50 of marriages end in divorce. 50 last a lifetime. Hi, I'm Ned, and I'm married. Kelsey I'm Kelsey and I'm very single. You've submitted relationship questions. We are not qualified to answer them. But we're gonna anyways. bouncy folk music When does the discussion of little monsters happen Kids! No thanks. Like if you drop it, that's a life. That's a life. You don't get Ned Yeah a second chance at that. Doesn't that terrify you Like you're responsible.

It does, it does. for a human that is also you. It's you. I'm scared of having a dog. Kelsey What Well what if I forget to go home and feed it because somebody invites me out to go to dinner. You think you're gonna forget to go home and feed a dog laughs And you want a child! Yeah, I do want a child, but I'm aware that it's a lot of responsibility. Can I live A hundred percent you can. Thank you.

That being said, probably gonna have a baby in the next year or so. Really soon. Did you guys talk about it Obviously before you got married. If you are not on the same page about that, that could ruin your relationship. How do you bring that conversation up Do you wanna see the Transformers movie And how many kids do you want None please! Oh you don't wanna have children I can't. I think it would be dope to see what I would be like as a tiny human,.

But not for forever. laughs Airbnb for babies. You rent a baby, but it's someone else's kid. Air baby en baby Kelsey Baby a baby. Kenz, will you write that down Thank you. Isn't that what like a niece and a nephew is Somebody already invented it. It's an incredible amount of responsibility. But it's also something that I just get a warm feeling when I think about it. Cause it's not just a miniature version of you, it's you and the other person, like a miniature version of you together.

19 Unexpected Perks of Being Married

Soak It Up , WarnerChappell Music Zimbabwe, Supreme Court ruling Zooey Deschanel! Yes! Yes! What groaning Blueberry, and mango, no banana. Are you trying to get diabetes We're done, we're done, we're done. Feeling all right laughs Oh, Matt, you need to get her number because you guys live right next to each other. Bye, sweetie. Bye. So what do you think about one girl and one boy I was more thinking like one girl and two boys.

Protecting Your Marriage After Baby MomAssembly

Alyssa Hi. I'm Alyssa Berlin. I'm a clinical prenatal psychologist with Berlin Prenatal Wellness Center. We all know that having a baby is a really joyful moment in a person's life, but what you may not realize that it's also a really stressful moment. In this course I offer you handson techniques to help you weather that stress, so that you can maintain or enhance your quality of the relationship with your partner. After all, we all want to be good parents, but not at the expense of being good partners. Also, learn a 4step approach to how to resolve.

Weird Ways Couples Mess With Each Other

Oh, look at this. mockingly Oh, look at this. That's not how I sound. Yeah it is. Oh, yeah. This is how you sound. Ah, I'm a lady reading a book. Ah, this is how I walk. Ah, I have my ba, ba, baby. This is how you sound, ah. I have to get up. I have to get up. I have to pee. Tickle. Don't. Tickle, tickle. Stop, you wouldn't like to be tickled. Oh, baby doesn't like to be tickled.

No, I don't. Oh, I'm so sorry. Hey. Did you fart Sure did. Did you child lock the windows Sure did. Uh. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Don't, it's not funny. It's not funny. Stop, that's not how I sound. That's not how I sound. Emmet, how was your day today It was like totally rad. I was like. That's not his voice. What are you talking about that is his voice. Do the right voice.

Fine. Man, it was so cool. Stop it. Do the right voice. Whoa, somebody's touchy. What are you doing Nothing, nothing. Oh, what a beautiful day. Put some clothes on, our neighbors are out there. What They can't see any of this. Put some pants on. Are you comfortable Not yet. Okay, okay. All right, yeah, that's. I get it, I get it. This is good. Oh, great. Hello. Hey, did you put a picture of me sleeping on Facebook.

Who is this What do you mean who is this I'm afraid you might have the wrong phone number, sir. They can't see this goodness. Yes, they can. I got that good good. I've got the good good. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Can you believe we've been together 12 years Geez. Yeah, but we've really only been in love for like 10 years. What Yeah, well you know If you subtract all the times that like you've been annoying or I've been mad at you.

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