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How To Fix A Destructive Marriage

WELCOME TOlt;igt; RBCMINISTRIES WEBINARS.lt;igt; I’M YOUR HOST TIM JACKSON,AND WE’RE SO GLAD YOU’VEJOINED US TODAY. THIS WEBINAR TODAY,quot;SHEPHERDING THE EMOTIONALLYDESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGE,quot; IS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREPASTORS AND MINISTRY LEADERSAND MAYBE EVEN COUNSELORS, WHO ARE DEALINGWITH WHAT IS A GROWINGPROBLEM IN OUR CHURCHES, IN OUR FAMILIES,AND IN OUR COMMUNITIES. AND I’M SO HAPPY THAT YOU’VEBEEN ABLE TO JOIN US TODAY. JOINING ME AGAINHERE AT THE TABLE, LESLIEVERNICK AND CHRIS MOLES.

SO GLAD TO HAVEYOU GUYS BACK AGAIN. CHRIS: IT’S GREAT TO BE BACK. LESLIE: GOOD TO BE HERE. TIM: AND LESLIE, YOU’RE. YOUWERE WITH US THE LAST TIME. WHEN WE TALKEDABOUTlt;igt; THE EMOTIONALLYDESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGE,lt;igt; WHICH IS THE BOOK THAT YOU’VEWRITTEN. YOU’RE A. YOU’REA CLINICAL SOCIAL WORKER. TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUTWHAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING. LESLIE: WELL I’VE BEEN INPRACTICE FOR ABOUT 33 YEARS,

WORKING WITH INDIVIDUALSAND FAMILIES FROM ABIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE. AND AS I WORKED WITH THESEFAMILIES, I BEGAN TO NOTICEDIFFERENCES IN MARRIAGES, THAT, YOU KNOW, THEY WEREN’TJUST DIFFICULT OR DISAPPOINTING, SOME OF THEM WEREREALLY DESTRUCTIVE. AND THE CHURCH HAD LITTLETO SAY ABOUT THEM OR TO THEM, AND SO I REALLY BEGAN TOWORK WITH THESE COUPLES, AND WORK WITH THESE INDIVIDUALSIN THESE MARRIAGES. AND I FELT THATGOD HAD A LOT TO SAY, AND SOI BEGAN WRITING ABOUT THEM.

AND I WROTElt;igt; HOW TO ACT RIGHTWHEN YOUR SPOUSE ACTS WRONG,lt;igt; AND THEN I WROTElt;igt; THE EMOTIONALLYDESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP,lt;igt; AND THEN THISlt;igt; EMOTIONALLYDESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGElt;igt; BOOK. TIM: AND THAT’S WHAT WE’REGOING TO FOCUS ON TODAY, BECAUSETHIS IS A HUGE ISSUE THAT. THAT PASTORS AND MINISTRYLEADERS HAVE TO DEAL WITH. AND CHRIS, YOU ARE A PASTOR. YOU COME TO USFROM WEST VIRGINIA,ELEANOR, WEST VIRGINIA. CHRIS: YES.

TIM: YOU’RE A SENIORPASTOR THERE. CHRIS: YES, I’VE BEEN A SENIORPASTOR FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS, BEEN IN PASTORAL MINISTRYFOR ALMOST 15 YEARS, AND A BIBLICAL COUNSELOR AROUNDTHAT SAME AMOUNT OF TIME. TIM: BUT YOU’RE ALSO ANINTERVENTION SPECIALIST.WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? CHRIS: THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION.SOMETIMES I’M NOT SUREWHAT IT MEANS. BUT WHAT. WHAT I DO IS,FOR THE LAST SIX OR SEVEN YEARS, I HAVE WORKED PRIMARILY WITHDOMESTIC VIOLENCE OFFENDERS,

MEN WHO WERE CONVICTEDOF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CRIMES, OR ANOTHER CRIME, BUT ALSOHAD EVIDENCE OF ABUSE, AND MAYBE HAD A PROTECTIONORDER, A PPO OR A DBP, HOWEVERYOUR STATE MAY WORD IT. AND SO I’VE BEENLEADING CLASSES. ALMOST 200 MEN NOWHAVE COME THROUGH OUR GROUP,AND IN THE LAST FEW YEARS I’VE HADTHE PRIVILEGE OF SPEAKINGON THE TOPIC OF ABUSE. AND HOW THE CHURCHCAN ADDRESS IT, AND REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUTSEEING PASTORS AND CHURCHLEADERS ENGAGED IN THIS TOPIC.

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage part 1 w Leslie Vernick Time for Hope w Freda Crews

gt;WELCOME TO TIME FOR HOPE, AFAITHBASED MENTAL HEALTH PROGRAM. JOIN CERTIFIED CLINICALMENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR AND CHRISTIAN PSYCHOTHERAPIST, DR.FREDA CREWS, AND HE­R GUESTS AS THEY DISCUSS REALLIFE ISSUESAND OFFER EXPERT CLINICAL ADVICE AND SOLID BIBLICAL APPLICATIONFOR ANY AND ALL LIFE SITUATIONS. NOW HERE’S YOUR HOST OF TIME FORHOPE, DR. FREDA CREWS. gt;THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME FORANOTHER EDITION OF TIME FOR HOPE. NOTE THAT I APPRECIATE ALLOF YOU AND PRAY THAT GOD WILL

USE WHAT MY GUESTS AND I AREABOUT TO SHARE WITH YOU TO INFORM AND IF NEEDED EMPOWER YOUTO MAKE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE AND MARRIAGE. MY GUEST FOR TODAY ANDAGAIN NEXT WEEK IS LICENSED COUNSELOR AND LIFE COACH, AUTHORAND INTERNATIONAL SPEAKER LESLIE VERNICK AND SHE IS HERE TO SHAREWITH US FROM HER BOOK TITLED THE EMOTIONALLY DESTRUCTIVEMARRIAGE. IF YOU SUSPECT THAT YOU ARE IN SUCH A MARRIAGELESLIE AND I WILL BE SHARING DIRECTIONS AND STRATEGIES THATCAN HELP YOU MAKE CHANGES THAT

CAN STOP THE DESTRUCTION ANDEMPOWER YOU TO MOVE TOWARDS A BETTER FUTURE. FOR MORE STAYWITH US. gt;LESLIE IT’S GREAT HAVING YOUBACK ON TIME FOR HOPE. gt;I AM SO PLEASED TO BE BACK.THANKS FOR INVITING ME. gt;IT’S BEEN AWHILE HASN’T IT? gt;IT HAS BEEN AWHILE. gt;YOU’VE BEEN A BUSY GIRL SINCETHEN RIGHT? gt;I HAVE BEEN.

gt;YES AND WRITTEN SEVERAL BOOKS ITHINK SINCE YOU WERE HERE BUT STILL ALONG THE SAME LINE. THISSEEMS TO BE A FOCUS THAT GOD HAS GIVEN YOU. gt;HE HAS. IT WOULDN’T BE ONE ICHOSE BUT I THINK IT’S A VOICE THAT’S NEEDED. WE HAVEN’T TALKEDABOUT THIS IN THE CHURCH. WE HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THIS VERYCLEARLY TO MEN AND WOMEN ABOUT HOW TO REPAIR DESTRUCTIVERELATIONSHIPS OR DESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGES. SO YOU KNOW GODCALLED ME TO KIND OF HAVE A

UNIQUE VOICE IN THIS LITTLEGENRE. gt;YES. ARE YOU OF THE OPINION ANDIT APPEARS FROM SOME OF THE QUESTIONS AND SOME OF THE THINGSTHAT I READ IN YOUR BOOK THAT MANY PEOPLE ARE IN DESTRUCTIVEMARRIAGES AND DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT OR DON’T RECOGNIZE THATTHEY ARE OR AREN’T WILLING TO FACE THE TRUTH AND MAKE THECHANGES? gt;YOU KNOW FREDA I THINK A LOT OFMEN AND WOMEN ARE IN DESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGES AND OBVIOUSLY IF WESEE ANY KIND OF ABUSE WE WOULD

HOPEFULLY REALIZE THAT THAT’S ADESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGE. BUT THERE’S OTHER KINDS OFDESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGES BUT MOST WOMEN AND MEN WHO ARE INDESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGES JUST FEEL IT. THEY FEEL CONTROLLED. THEYFEEL CONFUSED. THEY FEEL A LOT OF PAIN. THEY FEEL LIKE THEYWANT TO END THE RELATIONSHIP. THEY DON’T WANT TO BE IN THISRELATIONSHIP. THEY DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS RELATIONSHIP.THEY FEEL DEMEANED, DISMISSED AND SO IN THAT SENSE THEY KNOWSOMETHING’S REALLY WRONG. THEY

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