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Funniest Marriage Advice Ever

you have just come back from vacation? OR WHEN DID YOU TAKE YOUR FAMILY ON VACATION? WELL, WE WENT OVER THE WINTER BREAK, THE HOLIDAY BREAK, AND WE WENT TO ST. BARTS, WHICH SOUNDS GREAT.

And there’s beautiful islands like provence IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CARIBBEAN. BUT THERE’S A LOT OF PHOTOGRAPHERS THERE, AND SO MY WHOLE MISSION BECAME TO NOT GET MY WHITE FISH BELLY PHOTOGRAPHED. THEY DIDN’T GET ME, SO.

oh, they did get you. YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE PICTURE? OH, NO. OH, MY GOD, YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS? IT’S AMAZING. cheers and applause.

laughing NO WONDER I’VE BEEN MARRIED 25 YEARS. laughing YEAH, YOU HAVE. THAT’S A BEAUTIFUL THING. YOU JUST CELEBRATED YOUR 25TH ANNIVERSARY.

yeah. cheers and applause AND I WOULD IMAGINE, SINCE YOU GO TO ST. BARTS JUST FOR CHRISTMAS, FOR A 25 ANNIVERSARY, YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING BIG. WENT TO BROOKLYN, HAD PIZZA. OH, YEAH.

yeah, we did, we went to brooklyn and had pizza ON OUR 25TH ANNIVERSARY. IT WAS GREAT. I MEAN, THE COOL THING ABOUT THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY WAS THAT WE KIND OF WOKE UP AND SAID, WELL, I GUESS THIS WORKED.

uhhuh. SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER 25. SO WE DID. AND WE HAVE. AND WE CEMENTED IT WITH PIZZA IN BROOKLYN. THAT’S BEAUTIFUL.

And what do you do that bugs her, AND WHAT DOES SHE DO THAT BUGS YOU? WELL, SHE CLAIMS THAT I SPEAK IN A TONE THAT CAN ONLY BE HEARD BY DOGS AND. AND S.A.S. LISTENING DEVICES. I MUMBLE AND I SPEAK.

Key Peele Gay Wedding Advice

welcome, johnson family. NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHY WE’RE HERE. COUSIN DELROY’S GETTING MARRIED. all: MMHMM. TO A MAN. WHICH IS CRAZY. MMHMM.

and we’re in support, and, uh, we just need a little help WITH THE PARTICULARS OF A GAY WEDDING. WHAT I’VE DONE IS I TOOK THE INITIATIVE TO GET MY FRIEND GARY IN HERE, WHO’SI MEAN, HE’S NOT REALLY MY FRIEND. HE’S A COWORKER OF MINE WHO HAPPENS.

To be a active member of the homosexual community, AND HE’S GONNA GIVE US SOME ADVICE ON, YOU KNOW, WHAWHAT TO DO. SO, GARY, WHAWHAT CAN WHAT CAN WE EXPECT? ALL RIGHT. WELL, FIRST OF ALL, GUYS,.

Thanks so much for having me here, AND I THINK IT’S REALLY AMAZING WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING FOR YOUR COUSIN DELROY. REALLY, I JUST WANTED TO SAY, BASICALLY, THAT A GAY WEDDING IS JUST LIKE A STRAIGHT WEDDING. YES? YES, SIR.

so then do the men wear dresses and then THE WOMEN WOULD WEAR SUITS? NO. NO, NO, NO. YOU WOULD JUST WHERE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD WEAR AT AAT A STRAIGHT WEDDING. NOW, NONE OF US ARE GAY, SO I ASSUME.

That we would all sit then in the straight section. THE STRAIGHT SECTION? YEAH. OH, THE STRAIGHT SECTION. HE MEANS AS OPPOSED TO THE GAY SECTION. NO, NO, THERE’STHERE’S THERE’S NO SECTIONS, GUYS. BUT THE GAY PEOPLE. NO, NO, NO.

Whatyou would just sit and then the straight? NO, LARRY, LARRY, LISTEN TO ME JUST FOR A SECOND. BUT THEN THE AISLE. YOU WOULD JUST YOU WOULD JUST SIT ON THE SIDE OF THE PERSON THAT WERE FRIENDS WITH OR THAT YOUR FAMILY’S MEMBERS, JUST LIKE IN A STRAIGHT WEDDING.

so we just guess who’s gay. OR NOT. YOU COULD JUSTYEAH. WE’LL GUESS WHO’S GAY. OKAY. GUESS WHO WHEN IN THE CEREMONY DO WE SINGlt;igt;OVER THE RAINBOW?lt;/igt; WELL, YOU DON’T. YOU DON’T.

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