I’m Joe Cuenco with family resources, todaywe are going to be talking about relationship paths and the choices we make in our life.Particularly should infidelity lead to divorce. For many individuals infidelity is a dealbreaker. Once that bond of trust has been broken, it’s really gone. And there’s nothingthat can repair this. Even when there’s children or perhaps a very significant situation todeal with. And so when you have a deal breaker like that, it’s best to just go ahead andmove on put as much closure as you can to the situation and begin to rebuild a lifesomewhere else. For others infidelity maybe an issue where it maybe a one time thing andit’s really not in the character of the individual,
they basically perhaps made a mistake or gotinvolved in a situation where they let go. And weren’t as careful as they should havebeen. So in a situation like that it may be possible, many couples do recover in thistype of relationship and go ahead and work through this and sometimes it even makes themstronger. But if you have an individual who is selfish, self centered, maybe looking atthings like whats in it for me. Who is cold, calculating and actually plans something likethis, then you may want to consider really give it some way to think about is this individualworth while to be with in a long term. This type will generally be prone to these badbehaviors and that’s something that you want
to consider. And actually basically do youwant to live your life looking in the rear view mirror all the time. For those who wantto work together, build some trust, then that’s a very positive thing but it has to be twopeople who are willing to undergo this. Counseling may help, workshops may help but the net istrust is equivalent to love in importance for happily married couples and those in longterm successful relationships. So go with your heart, remember you don’t want to bethe victim here, you want to be a person who works to build a happy relationship. And counselingcan help you work through this if there is a separation or divorce involved. If thereis love, true love,it will survive and if
not then sometimes those hard decisions canbe made. And that’s how we determine whether infidelity should lead to divorce. I’m JoeCuenco relationships for life.
How to Overcome Infidelity In Your Marriage And Prevent Divorce
When someone you love betrays your trust,it can feel like an hopeless hurdle to overcome. But the truth is, with a little tender loveand care, and dedication from both spouses, it’s completely possible for your marriageto survive infidelity. My name is Brad Browning, I’m a marriagecoach from Vancouver, BC. You may recognize me from another one of my tutorials, or haveheard about my bestselling Mend the Marriage program, designed to help married coupleswork through their hardships and recommit to one another. But today I’m going to talkabout how to overcome cheating in your marriage. Before we get started it’s important tonote that before any progress can be made
in repairing the marriage, the unfaithfulspouse must first end their affair. Once that’s done, both spouses must commit to repairingthe damage, rebuilding trust, and working through the following steps to save theirmarriage and emerge stronger on the other side. Here they are:1. Openly talk about the affair. In order to move past the infidelity, it’simportant that both partners are given the opportunity to share their feelings and getthe insight they need to move on. The betrayed spouse should ask questions about the thingsthey need to know. For example, how long did
the affair last? Was it sexual or emotional?What was the extent of the lies that were told to conceal it? And is there any riskof an STD or pregnancy? Although they may have the urge to learn the xrated detailsof the sexual encounters, they shouldn’t ask. Instead of causing more unnecessary pain,keep the focus on the relationship, not the affair.It’s also important that the unfaithful spouse shares the thoughts and feelings theyhad that caused them to cheat. Doing so will help you both understand the underlying problemsyou face. 2. Practice honesty and work on rebuildingtrust.
It’s crucial that spouses provide all detailshonestly and completely, and take the steps necessary to prove their trustworthiness.Even though telling the truth can be tough, it’s been proven that couples heal betterafter an affair if the adulterous spouse supplies all of the information requested by his orher betrayed partner. If you never discuss it, you cannot recover. A willingness to talkabout the affair will rebuild trust, but if you leave out details and they come out inthe future, then your spouse will feel betrayed all over again. Another great way to work on rebuilding trustis by making sure that your actions match
up with your words. For example, if you say,quot;I love you,quot; back it up with loving actions. If you say, quot;I want our marriage to work,quot;then commit to being monogamous. There is nothing worse for your partner than to findout they’re being lied to. 3. Patiently face your feelings. Infidelity has a devastating impact on a marriage,but if you can stop and fully feel the heartache, you will be surprised at what is possible.Once you face your feelings and give yourself time to process them, they will begin to shift.It’s true you’ll never forget the affair, but with time, the painful memories will beginto fade.
The single best indicator of whether a relationshipcan survive infidelity is how much empathy the unfaithful partner shows when the betrayedspouse gets emotional about the affair. It can be frustrating to hear the same thingsover and again, but it’s important to be understanding of their feelings. After anaffair is over, a couple has a window of opportunity to fix what was wrong and make their marriagebetter than ever. However, the emotional reactions that are left over from the affair may standin the way. It’s important that spouses takes healing seriously and don’t try torush their recovery. Grieving together can help you let go of what’s lost to make roomfor your future together.